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Born with Two Upper Lips- A Satire Article

The following article is meant to be satirical and is not meant to offend anyone. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

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While we all like to think of ourselves as above average shisha smokers, sometimes smoking is harder for others. Just ask Chase, a Terrene Hookah veteran and hookah enthusiast. While many long-time customers eventually catch on to smoke tricks and such, the newcomer to Albuquerque revealed that he has always wrestled with smoke trick anxiety.

“I started coming to Terrene because I liked the flavors. I mean, when is the last time you had a smoke that tasted like a s’more or lemony-lime goodness? But then, someone asked me to blow a smoke ‘O’, and I panicked” Chase said, hookah hose hanging off his lips, “It has been a mental block ever since.”

Then, after numerous attempts and frustration, Chase visited a doctor to see if his lack of smoke prowess was something serious. After consultations with specialists, special visits with health consultants, and a few run-ins with scary shamans, Chase finally received a diagnosis: Instead of having a normal mouth, Chase had two top lips. “I was shocked when I found out, but it made sense. I was floored,” he said.

Even though Chase felt self-conscious, he returned to Terrene to make new friends.

He remembers:

“They [Terrene Hookah] had a stand-up comedy contest awhile back. Even though I was nervous, the guys at Terrene all encouraged me to give it a shot. Even though I had never doing it before, I decided to use all my public speaking abilities to tell stories and make people laugh. By the time I finished my set, I had so many people laughing it didn’t matter to me if I won first place… It felt good.”

Chase now uses his two top lips to start conversations, to make new friends, and to make sure their smoking experience at Terrene Hookah is the best possible.

“You barely even notice his handicap,” said Hookah Jesse, a long-time Terrene patron, “It’s like, he can’t do tricks, but man can he chat people up. Add a little hookah smoke, he can be friends with EVERYONE. Not anyone can do that.”

So, when you come to Terrene, don’t just expect really good smoke; Expect an experience with people you’ll never forget.

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Terrene Hookah

106 Vassar Dr SE,

Albuquerque, NM 87106

Phone. 505-265-9116

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Monday4:00PM - 12:00AM
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Sunday4:00PM - 12:00AM

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