The following article is meant to be satirical and is not meant to offend anyone. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.


While we all like to think of ourselves as above average shisha smokers, sometimes smoking is harder for others. Just ask Chase, a Terrene Hookah veteran and hookah enthusiast. While many long-time customers eventually catch on to smoke tricks and such, the newcomer to Albuquerque revealed that he has always wrestled with smoke trick anxiety.

“I started coming to Terrene because I liked the flavors. I mean, when is the last time you had a smoke that tasted like a s’more or lemony-lime goodness? But then, someone asked me to blow a smoke ‘O’, and I panicked” Chase said, hookah hose hanging off his lips, “It has been a mental block ever since.”

Then, after numerous attempts and frustration, Chase visited a doctor to see if his lack of smoke prowess was something serious. After consultations with specialists, special visits with health consultants, and a few run-ins with scary shamans, Chase finally received a diagnosis: Instead of having a normal mouth, Chase had two top lips. “I was shocked when I found out, but it made sense. I was floored,” he said.

Even though Chase felt self-conscious, he returned to Terrene to make new friends.

He remembers:

“They [Terrene Hookah] had a stand-up comedy contest awhile back. Even though I was nervous, the guys at Terrene all encouraged me to give it a shot. Even though I had never doing it before, I decided to use all my public speaking abilities to tell stories and make people laugh. By the time I finished my set, I had so many people laughing it didn’t matter to me if I won first place… It felt good.”

Chase now uses his two top lips to start conversations, to make new friends, and to make sure their smoking experience at Terrene Hookah is the best possible.

“You barely even notice his handicap,” said Hookah Jesse, a long-time Terrene patron, “It’s like, he can’t do tricks, but man can he chat people up. Add a little hookah smoke, he can be friends with EVERYONE. Not anyone can do that.”

So, when you come to Terrene, don’t just expect really good smoke; Expect an experience with people you’ll never forget.


Even though we don’t scream it, Terrene Hookah is not just a place for the guys to hang. Just ask Cami, Alexa, and Monica. Originating from different parts of New Mexico, the femme trio recognizes what a special and rare place Terrene is. “It’s so weird,” said Alexa, “We’re here for hours and we almost never check our phones. And now that I think about it, that is really unique. It’s the only place we can come and unwind after a long day at school.”


With a stress-free atmosphere, the lounge is outfitted for both entertainment, a good studying space, and for easy conversation. Via wifi, there is internet accessibility, as well as Rockbot (an interactive jukebox system controlled by patrons’ smartphones). Many who frequent Terrene find they connect deeper though hookah smoking sessions and the culture that is special to Terrene.

With comfy couches, your choice of drinks and teas, and even the ability to choose your own music with Rockbot, ladies as well as guys find Terrene Hookah to the perfect blend of chill and comfort. “I love the diversity that you can find here,” Monica says, as she takes a puff of her favorite shisha. From dates to long chats, to local New Mexicans to travelers whose hookah knowledge comes from other nations, there is no “one kind” of person that frequents Terrene. Rather, all shisha supporters come together to enjoy the sights, sounds, and smoke that reflect the diverse town Terrene calls home.


Cami, a UNM student recognizes how much Terrene reflects the Duke City. “Whenever I want to go out, this is one of the first places I go. It’s a staple of Albuquerque.” Being that Albuquerque is home to both fellas and ladies, we were really curious as to why ladies like coming to Terrene. Alexa, answered perfectly, “Do you want an environment where you don’t have to be anything other than yourself? Then come to Terrene!”

At first glance, Jesse is an ordinary looking guy. He’s got two arms, two legs, and the craziest beard you’ve ever seen. You would never guess that Jesse was once a gymnast training for the Olympics.

“After school, I’d go straight to the gym, practice all day, and I wouldn’t leave until it was dark. On weekends, I would coach,” he remembers. “It controlled my life.”


Because Jesse took gymnastics so seriously, smoking hookah became his only outlet for fun. “My friend and I would smoke on the sly, smoking hookah in our car,” he said with a smile, “And it was terrible. The bowls were always over-packed, burnt, and we’d almost always end up with a headache.”

Then one day, one of his friends from gymnastics told him about Terrene. Even though he didn’t really know what to expect, Jesse gave it a try. Not only did he learn how to enjoy smoking properly, but it was there Jesse found friends that he would have never met otherwise. “I met this guy named Ice who always cracked jokes. At first, I didn’t really know what to make of him. But in the end, he became one of my best friends. The more time I spent around new people in the lounge, the more comfortable I felt in my own skin. It got me to loosen up and see that I wasn’t just ‘the shy guy who did gymnastics.’ I found out that I was actually more confident than I thought.” With this new-found freedom, Jesse met all sorts of people from all parts of Albuquerque. They, too, were looking for creative outlets. “When we were just hanging out, we’d always try to out-do each other with the best smoke tricks.”

Eventually adopting the name “HookahJesse,” he kept practicing his hookah tricks and was the first person in the lounge to perfect the art of smoke ring bending (O bending). He was featured in Hookah Exclusive Magazine alongside a how-to article on blowing a smoke ring through another smoke ring. Jesse now has over 3,000 followers on Instagram as well as a HookahJesse page on Facebook.

Today, Jesse is a committed employee of Terrene Hookah. He works in the back helping people find their perfect flavor, welcoming newcomers to Terrene, or teaching others how to take care of their hookahs. You can usually find him talking to new people or showing others how to do the next crazy smoke trick.


“I thought I came to Terrene to smoke. But what I found was something I didn’t know I was missing: Friends and laughter… lots of laughter.” Are you looking for some new people to hang out with? Come to Terrene and find people you can’t get anywhere else.

Smoking hookah is saving lives. (Well, not literally). We aren’t not talking about typical smoke breaks in back alleyways or at reggae concerts. I’m talking about the smoke that brings people together: the kind you can find at Terrene Hookah. While there are so many places in Albuquerque to partake in this Mediterranean bonding ritual, Terrene Hookah attracts a diverse crowd of all shapes, occupations, and regions of the country. From business folk to college students, from double dates to singles looking to spend a night out, from locals to travelers just passing through, there is no “one-kind of person” that comes to Terrene. With a chill-lounge feel that you can’t get anywhere else, we invite you in to ex...

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Terrene Hookah

106 Vassar Dr SE,

Albuquerque, NM 87106

Phone. 505-265-9116

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